Overheard

"Boring party isn't it? Hope I'm not intruding but I see you've been keeping to yourself Mr.. ?"

"Zungenbrecher"

"Zun.. what?"

"Zungenbrecher"

"Umm .. well, you see Mr Zun .."

"Are you mocking my name Sir?"

"Noo ..not at all.. haha. Its just a little twisty. What do your friends call you?"

"Scioglilingua Zungenbrecher"

"Alright..what does someone close, say your wife, call you?"

"My wife.. (sigh).. she cannot call me anything"

"Ohh... I seem to be asking all the wrong questions. I'm very sorry for your loss "

"What did I lose?"

"I meant your wife's passing away"

"Thats my wife, standing over there in that ridiculous dress she made me buy for an exorbiant price"

"What..? but you said she cannot..? Ohh.. you meant she's a mute"

"Yup. Dumb"

"Anyway, can I call you by your initials, SZ?"

"Only my wife calls me SZ"

"But she's dumb for heaven's sake"

"Who the hell are you calling my wife dumb, huh?"

"Sorry..I meant no disrespect. I was only reminding you that she is a mute"

"Like I needed reminding. I've been living with that dumb bimbo for the last 10 years"

"I see Mr.SZ"

"I'm sorry mister, I don't remember marrying you. But I do remember telling you that *only* my wife calls me SZ, understand?"

"Not really.. no, but thats okay, I think I'll go get myself a drink"

"Oh.. so now you want to get away, after all this"

"After all what?!"

"After you've learnt all this about me"

"What have I learnt?"

"You tell me. You are one eyeing my wife"

"Eyeing ..What?! No..! Whats with you?"

"You were asking me about her, werent you?"

"I was asking about you too.."

"Me too..? Perv, what is this.. some kinda sick fantasy involving married couples?"

"I am married too.. happily married in fact. You got me all wrong"

"Great! So your wife's gonna join us too."

Author's note -

Scioglilingua : Italian

Zungenbrecher : German

Tongue-Twister : English

F 13 & frustrated

I have an acute sense of hearing. I reckon it is God's way of compensating me for my other disabilities. The reason I mention it is, I was pricked awake by a slight clattering of dishes early in the morning today. Mom was preparing breakfast for Dad, who leaves early for work. I went to the kitchen to check on her.

"Stay out, Hema!", Mom commanded me even as I barely entered the kitchen.

"Move out of the way!!", Dad shouted as he escorted me out with a forceful shove.

The shove - not the first of its kind - did not hurt. However, I couldn't help thinking why I've never seen Dharma being shoved away or shouted at when he enters the kitchen. He is even allowed to eat at their table.

By the way, Dharma is my 18-year old foster-brother and Mom and Dad are actually my foster-Mom and foster-Dad.

Let me set some facts straight: Firstly, I am not an abused child. I was raised by my foster parents ever since my own mom passed away. I have never seen my real dad.

Raising me isn't easy considering my disabilities - at 13, I cannot understand most of what people speak and hence can neither read nor write. I cannot even do my chores without assistance. Maybe they do love me as their daughter after all; they even named me after their favorite matinee idol, Hema Malini.

As you can guess, I'm virtually unemployable and hence stay indoors most of the day. Mom believes that a little sunlight and exercise does me good, so she insists that I go along whenever we fetch necessities from the neighborhood vendor. So far, the sunlight hasn't improved anything but I enjoy these short walks in the morning.

I went back to my bedroom and proceeded to wake up Dharma. He is the one usually sent on errands.

I hate the vegetables vendor because he stinks and calls me names. The pervert also whistled at me a few times when nobody was around. To avoid him, I started wandering and surveying around, while my brother was busy haggling with him. That was when I ran into Amit.

Amit, the neighborhood hunk, has a reputation as the local casanova and no one has ever been known to be able to resist his charms. He tried to catch my attention a couple of times before, but Dharma was beside me on all those occasions and Amit always maintained a safe distance.

However today, emboldened by the fact that Dharma was not observing and out of ear-shot, Amit got obscenely close to me and started making amorous advances. I resisted at first, but his proximity was too overwhelming. My modesty disallows me from going into the details, so let me just say this: I closed my eyes and started letting my immoral teenage fantasies come true.

A flash of light brought me back to my senses and I saw Amit retreating quickly from the scene. My brother was standing right beside me and delivered me one more of his tight slaps - another flash of light. Overcome by shame, I ran back home crying. Fortunately Dharma did not mention the incident to Mom. I, however, haven't gathered the courage to look him in the eye since morning.

It is 5 p.m. now. The phone is ringing.

I see Dharma picking it up and speaking in a hushed voice:

"Hey Beautiful.. whats up"

"No Dear.. cannot make it to the movie today. I promised Mom that I'd help her give a bath to Hema"

"Ha.. ha.. don't get too jealous. Hema is our 13-yr old sexually-frustrated pet Labrador"

"Yeah.. today she tried romancing our neighbour's dog right infront of me. I mean, how outrageous can things get: Hema Malini seduced by Amitabh right infront of Dharmendra"

as you sow, so shall They reap [part 2]

Here goes the change-yourself-HOWTO :

1

Give up absurd fears.

Fear is one of the primary reasons for our indifference towards animals.

Assure yourself that the most dangerous, merciless, psychotic, predatory animal around is you.

2

Feel like buying leather?

Think of a skinned snake writhing on the ground as it is being eaten alive by ants. This is a fact. Snakes are skinned after stunning them and their bodies are tossed away. More often than not, they regain consciousness.

Fight this mindset - Cruelty that I do not see is okay.

Once you are done fighting, start scowling at anyone showing off their leather goods.

3

Be productive at work, not at home - go for 1 kid per home

4

Minimize wastage. Understand that it is not a question of affordability.

Water: Do not walk away from a leaking tap ever. Stop thinking that it is not your problem; it will be someday.

Food: Overeating fills you up, but your body can only absorb so much. Don't make me tell you where the rest ends up. Never overeat!

Energy: Prefer pedals to accelerators.

5

Resolve to plant a tree before you buy a car.

Its even better if you plant a couple of trees before you buy a car.

It would be awesome if you plant a couple of trees and do not buy a car.

6

Avoid excessive consumerism.

Change cell-phones only as often as you change wives.

Think twice before asking for free gifts. They are not free!

Understand the difference between wants and needs

7

Stop being ignorant.

Read about bottom-trawling.

Find out what factory farming is.

Know about downed cows.

Watch "The Cove" (It won this year's Oscar for Best Documentary).

8

Do not be cynical or shy

Do your part however small it is; be it switching off your office PC or reusing polythene bags. You may not be remembered as Mr.Greenpeace but at least it will put your kids in the right track and lets them start their life sensibly.

Throughout history there has been something that has been giving us all we need, and throughout history we have been taking it for granted and ignoring it though we stand right on it.

Save it. Only 1 left

as you sow, so shall They reap [part 1]

A century ago India had around 40,000 tigers; they are down to 1411 now. What happened to the rest? Well... a few of them died of sickness or old age. The lucky ones.

Once dangerous, now endangered.

Sparrows have an eye for healthy living spaces. Do you hear any twitters around your home nowadays? Same goes with vultures too... when was the last time you saw one?

Sparrows and vultures aren't as popular as tigers, hence their absence goes largely unnoticed.

The key to sustenance is co-existence.

However humans, the most rational of all life forms, prefer 'sole-existence'. Hence extinction is no longer a natural phenomenon, its our favorite pass-time. We exhibit such passion and commitment that today the average extinction rate is one species every 20 minutes.

So how does life go on with so many broken links in the circle of life? Simple... it doesn't.

Every life form directly dependent on an extinct species gets the next one-way ticket upwards.

Humans however, have always managed to find workarounds. Not for long though; Momma Nature has got lots in store - melting icecaps, decreasing land mass, thinning glaciers - all geared towards minimizing 'the' problem... us.

Feeling a little low? Alright, let me cheer you up with some good news : By the time things turn real nasty, we wouldn't be around. Our kids however, will be around to see the end^[1] of oil wars^[2] and the begin of water wars. Not such a bad deal, is it? We do the deed, they pay for it.

A few decades from now, life would be radically different from what we have seen; definitely not for the better.

"Its never too late"

That is a terrible cliché and I would be lying if I said that. We can however leave our kids a world they can manage with - imperfect, but up and running.

Lets change... not from Monday, not from new year's day... now.

^[1] an end caused by oil depletion, not by dawn of morality

^[2] oil-wars are known to us by a different name: war against terror. This name makes it sound ethical and just

to be concluded in Part 2

Is Avatar 'Hurt' ?

How do you feel about The Hurt Locker trumping Avatar at the Oscars?

The Hurt Locker, which I guess refers to a minefield, is a cinematic fix for your adrenaline cravings. This is one of those rare movies that generates genuine thrills. It understands that the thrill is not in the explosion, rather, it is in those few seconds before the explosion. It is in the uncertainty. It is in the anticipation. The movie drags the audience into the hot-zone from scene one. You aren't just watching the bomb getting defused - you are in there ! sweating, throbbing and most-likely, praying.

HL proves that Kathryn Bigelow's flair for action-thrillers, first showcased in the cult-hit Point Break(1991), is only getting better with age. Her Best-Director Oscar is truly well-earned.

That being said, Oscar or no Oscar, Avatar is the best picure. Period. No matter what the Academy thinks, people know it for what it is. It isn't just a movie - it is an experience.

Pretty dumb guys at the Academy, huh? Well, what do you expect from the guys who liked Shakespeare in Love better than Saving Pvt. Ryan in 1998. But this time, I am not disappointed with their judgement. Sample this:

Case -1 : Avatar wins the Best-Pic Oscar

Consequences:

- Another laurel to Avatar which is already at the pinnacle of success

- Obscurity to HL

Case-2 : Avatar does not win the Oscar

Consequences:

- Not as-much-as a dent on Avatar's glory

- HL receives the recognition it deserves, plus, a valuable lesson taught to distributors

It is a crying shame that no major distributors wanted HL because of its low budget and supposedly-low commercial value. The movie is now going to enjoy a wider distribution thanks to its Best Picture Oscar.

Caution to viewers -

- HL is not a date-movie. In fact, I think its a guys-only movie.

- Are you a Transformers fan? Keep out and watch Power Rangers on Pogo.

And lastly, my ratings for the best of 2009 -

1. Avatar ... 9.5/10

2. Inglourious Basterds, District9 ... 8.5/10

3. Hurt Locker ... 8/10

(Haven't watched A Serious Man, Up in the Air yet)

The Cure-all

An army general busy in his work is constantly being disturbed by his kid son. To avoid this, the general comes up with a task to keep his son occupied - he tears up a world map into many pieces and asks his son to rearrange it. Hoping that it would keep his son busy for the rest of the afternoon, the general continues with his work.

Half an hour later, his son comes back showing him the correctly rearranged map.

The surprised general asks, "How did you do it so quickly? "

The son answers, "At first I tried piecing-up the world together, which would have taken a lot of time, but then I found the picture of a man on the back of the map. So, all I had to do was set the man right and the world became all right"

-----

I did not like this fable the first time I read it in The Hindu a long time back. But back then, I did not know the difference between a fable and a story. Also, it was boringly titled 'First step to changing the world is changing yourself' or something like that. So, its okay if you don't like this post - you are just being immature, stupid, idiotic and moronic :P

So you think your job sucks

Monday

--------

Customer care exec. : " A Very Good Morning Sir. This is Shwetha calling from Reliance. Is this Mr. Arun Kumar's residence? "

Customer: " No. This is Mr. Arun Kumar"

C C E : " Err .. excuse me? "

Cust: " Alright. You are excused " (Ends call)

Tuesday

--------

C C E : "Good Morning Sir. Is this Mr. Arun Kumar? "

Cust: " Yes .. "

C C E : " I am Shwetha. Your outstanding phone bill for this month is Rs..."

Cust : " If its so outstanding why don't you pay it? " (Ends call)

Wednesday

-----------

C C E : " Morning Mr. Arun Kumar. Shwetha here. Why don't you pay your bills on time? "

Cust : " If we do, you would be out of your job, wouldn't you? "

C C E : " FYI Sir, I wouldn't be out of my job. I've got other more important work to do"

Cust : " Then start doing it right away and stop screwing me !! " (Ends call)

Thursday

---------

C C E : " Mr. Arun, pay your dues by today or else the service will be terminated "

Cust : " Who is Arun? and more importantly, what service did you provide him Lady ? I'm interested"

C C E : " oops !! wrong number... sorry " (Ends call)

Friday

------

C C E : " Is this Arun? If so, please pay your bill Sir. Don't bother if you aren't "

Cust : "Ohh .. sorry, I completely forgot about it. Whats the outstanding amount? "

C C E : " It is Rs..."

Cust : ( A woman's voice heard in the background ) " Ajay !!! for the fourth time this week, stop pretending to be your dad and give him the phone! "

C C E : " Fhaakk !! " (Ends call , Slaps boss, Quits job)

a few days later ..

Monday

---------

a CCE from Citibank: "Miss Shwetha.. ? "

Shwetha : " Why would I miss her? " (Ends call)

Why I had my name changed - a not-so-short story

Chapter-1 : The Jerks

==================

"Why are we stopping? We aren't there yet"

"We are"

"You kidding? This looks like anything but a movie theatre. I thought you mentioned PVR"

"I did, when I said that we are not going to PVR. Now Aamir, stop complaning and get yours off the bike"

We are seated in the third row from the screen.

"Wow .. this gotta be the shittiest theatre in Bangalore" he says looking around.

A few faces turn towards us.

"Keep it down, shit-face !!" I try to whisper. More faces turn, evoking laughter from him.

"Why did we not go to PVR? enlighten me Vasu, please"

"This is much nearer to home"

"PVR is a 10 minute ride from here. You call that 'far'?"

"Yeah .. far .. by my yardstick"

"In that case, your yardstick isn't a yard long. It must be something reeeally small" he says amidst uncontrollable laughter and suggestive gestures.

"If you don't shut up, I'll stick a broomstick ..." Fortunately, the profanities that followed got lost in the sound as the movie started to play.

The movie is pretty routine stuff -

Poor-and-hunky hero rescues rich-and-curvy heroine from a severely under-fed villain by bashing him up. They then fall for each other (the guys are straight, in case you are getting ideas).

The rich (would be) pa-in-law and (would-be) ma-in-law are not happy. So, the poor hero leaves and promises her to be back when he is rich enough.

INTERMISSION

I'm sure anyone who has seen enough clichéd movies can guess how this ends. Here's my guess:

The heroine waits and waits and waits for the hero. A couple of weepy songs and 5 years later, she dies. Probably of over waiting (or over-weighting). The hero, who is poorer than 5 years earlier, comes to know of it. With a heavy heart he goes to her home, bludgeons the rich (could-have-been) dad-in-law, pushes the paraplegic (could-have-been) mom-in-law over the stairs, eats the fish in their aquarium, bites the pet dog but leaves the (could-have been) sister-in-law unharmed whom he later marries and becomes rich as he had promised his beloved. It ends in a feel-good-melodramatic way with the heroine being reborn as their pet dog (or a fish, perhaps?).

"The sis-in-law is hot, isnt she?" Aamir says, standing up and turning backwards.

"Yeah. Too bad, she hardly has any screen-time"

"She should have an item song at least in the second-half.. she's got a lot of potential just waiting to be .."

"Lets go get some snacks" I say abruptly, to stop him tapping in the air.

"No.. you get them. I 'll wait here"

A little later, I return with the snacks and see him standing and smiling at someone in the back. I follow his gaze and see Anil, our colleague at Coolsoft, coming towards us.

"What's wrong with you? Why did you call him here?"

"I didn't. Why are you scared of him anyway?"

"I am not scared dumbo! Its just that he is kind of nerdy, doesn't understand stuff and .. what the hell is he wearing? Is that a shirt?"

"Dont be rude!"

"Ohh! sorry Aamir.. didn't notice that he is suddenly your best buddy"

"I'll handle him. Just dont be rude"

"I'll try. Don't expect me to laugh at his jokes, okay?"

"Okay. Don't laugh at him either"

"He wouldn't know the difference. Alright, hide the snacks somwh .." I freeze as I feel a hand over my shoulder and turn around towards Anil's smiling face.

"Heyyy ya .. whats up? Here have some snacks" I offer him with an almost genuine smile.

"No, thanks. I'm allergic to fries"

I draw back quickly with a look of almost genuine concern.

"Nice shirt, by the way. The designer must have gotten really high"

".. on originality" fills in Aamir, giving me a cold stare at the same time.

"Thanks. Can you believe it, I grabbed it for like 80% discount"

"Unbelievable ! No way!!" I cry out.

Aamir turned around and is choking with laughter.

Believe me, I am not always this cruel.

Chapter-2 : The Nerd

==================

( narrated by Anil )

Vasanth and Aamir - once schoolmates, college-mates, and now colleagues, roommates - are as inseparable as they get. Cool and friendly guys with a phenomenal sense of humour, its fun to have them around.

I am glad that they liked my shirt - its a welcome change from every other guy advising me against wearing it.

"You okay Aamir? Sounds like you are choking"

"I'm fine Anil..thank you"

"So, who were you searching for back there? You did not notice me the first time I waved at you" I ask him.

"Searching? ...when? "

"Just a moment ago.. dont tell me you have forgotten already"

"No .. really.. I wasn't"

"Seems like somebody is having a sudden bout of anemia .. ha.. ha.. ha"

"Ha.. ha.. ha..You mean amnesia, dont you Anil?" asks Vasanth, stopping his laughter abruptly.

"No.. anemia. I'm almost sure thats the word"

"Almost sure..? Dude .. you are freakin' hilarious"

"Shut up Vasu, you ain't a freakin' doctor ha.. ha.. ha.." says Aamir laughing out inappropriately loud.

"True, I ain't a doctor. But I ain't stupid either!! ohh.. no offence Anil"

"What..? I... ohh.. no no.. none taken. I guess I am wrong"

"You bet"

"Alright, I better go back to my seat, or are there any empty ones beside yours?"

"No Anil, this row is packed"

"Okay. Catch you guys after the movie then". With that, I start towards my seat.

My pace suddenly slows down and heartbeat quickens. Am I seeing things or is there a girl in my seat?

There is indeed a girl - I can see other guys stealing glances at her.

I hover around, avoiding eye contact with her, looking for empty seats.

"Excuse me.. hey"

"Yes?"

"Am I in your seat?"

"No.. I mean yeah, but its okay"

"Of course its not okay. I'm sorry. This one's taken too?" she askes me, pointing to the seat beside mine.

"Yes. Dont worry, I'm sure I can find some empty ones at the corner over there"

"No.. no.. thats not fair"

The guy sitting next to me arrives at the same time.

"Hello sir.. can you please sit over there at the front? We have met after a long time and wanna catch up with each other". She is good, I half-believed her myself.

"Thats not fair either" I say to her as he leaves.

Yeah.. its okay as long as he doesn't realize it"

"Ha.. ha.. you know, for a moment there when I saw you in my seat, i thought I was at the wrong place.. like maybe I was having a sudden bout of ane..amnesia"

"He..he..he..you are funny". Her laughter is divine like everything else about her.

"You liked the movie so-far?' I want to keep the conversation going notwithstanding the fact that the movie has started.

"Yeah.. in my own way"

"Hows that?"

"You remember the father-in-law daring the hero to become rich? Well, his expressive face seemed to convey that he was either in labour or severely constipated. These inept actors have me in splits. Dont you think so?"

"Yeah.. but isn't it sad though, being bad at what you do and being too old to do anything about it? Maybe he sticks to acting out of neccessity"

"Hmm..You are such a softie, aren't you Anil? making me feel guilty too .. you are spoiling my fun!!"

"I'm sorry"

"You shouldn't be apologetic either"

"I shouldn't?"

"Nope. You are single, aren't you?"

"Yes"

"See? proves my point. Try being a little meaner and tougher, girls will croon over you"

"Meaner and tougher?"

"Yeah. The next time you feel like fondling a cute little baby .. dont! Pinch its rear; that way the mom cannot find out why its crying"

"What??"

"The next time you are about to slow down your bike to allow a friendly old grandpa to cross the road .. dont!"

My face must have involutarily registered an expression of horror and disbelief because she broke in to giggles.

"My..!! you should see the look on your face. Dont you get it? I was kidding. You are sooo slow! he.. he.. he "

"Thank God.. I was beginning to get scared"

"He..he..he.. I'm sorry, but you are slow. Anyway, what do I know? I thought I was slow until I was asked to slow down.. get it?

"Ha..ha..Yes!!".

Actually, No.

I dont get it. I dont get a lot of what she speaks. But that doesn't bother me - I get to see her directly in her eyes as long as she is speaking. Thankfully, she speaks a lot.

The second-half of the movie seemed a little too short.

Chapter-3: The Cupids

===================

"Sucks" I cry out as the movie gets over.

The overlong second-half took me completely by surprise and left me dismayed -

The hero returns back rich.

The poor sister-in-law dies helping them get married. Forget about her item song, she doesn't even survive. Can you believe that??!

The item song needs special mention. They flew in someone (or something) called Rocky Savanth for it. For some reason, I am pretty sure that underneath all the make-up and other artificiality, she is actually a he. I know I'm being a little rude here. Which guy would allow himself to be dressed up like that? My apologies to all the guys out there.

My best guess? She is from Mars.

"Don't move so quickly Aamir, we can't risk bumping into Anil at the exit"

"He should be the least of our worries... look at the people around us" he whispers.

I look around and see the victims of our theatre etiquette staring at us with contempt.

We avoid a confrontation (possibly violent) by hurrying to the exit.

a couple of months later...

"Hey Aamir, is that Anil over there?

"Seems like him"

"Alright, keep walking. Don't look at him"

"It is him..wait Vasu.. is that a chick with him?"

"What? No way" I turn and observe that there is indeed a girl on phone, dangerously close to Anil.

"Hey.. Aniiill" I shout to him. He jerks his head towards us, smiles and motions us towards him. That is unnecessary of course, we are already on our way.

"Whats up dude .. long time huh?"

"Long time indeed Vasanth. Hi Aamir. How are you guys doing"

"Good. So, what are you up to? Shopping alone?'

"No Vasanth, I'm with Lina". He is pointing to the girl.

I regret asking the question. I would have felt a whole lot better not knowing the answer. That would have just left me curious, not crushed like I am now.

"Woww!! Good for you"

"Thanks Vasanth. I met her in the theatre that day". He tells us all about how he was romancing Lina while we were busy watching Rocky Savanth.

"Where was she until the intermission? Was she an hour late for the movie?" I ask.

"No..no. She was sitting somewhere in one of the front rows. Apparently, two foul-mouthed and loud-mouthed guys in the row behind her wouldn't stop bickering the whole time over trivialities. So she moved on upwards during the break. She calls them jerks, I call them cupids"

Forget the cat... curiosity is going to kill me someday.

Chapter-4 : Whats in a name?

=========================

"He and his 'bout of amnesia' ... so she fell for that dumb joke huh?" I mutter as we take leave of Anil and his precious.

"So thats what you think... that he floored her with that joke? Let me assure you Vasu, girls aren't half as dumb as you are".

"I wish I had not corrected him. He would have made an ass of himself with his anemia". I mutter on unmindful of Aamir.

"So now you are taking credit for them being together?"

"Shut up Aamir! The credit goes to you. You were the one who called him to our seats, remember?"

"It wasn't me.. he found me when I was looking backwards"

"Oh yeah .. so who was it you were searching for back then?"

"Actually, I was looking for good-lookin' chicks. You see, the front rows give a great view of the people at the back and the elevated rows makes sure that nobody gets left behind. All you need is to pretend as if you are searching for someone. Its a great trick, you should try it once"

"I did try it once" I say smiling after a long time.

"And..?"

"I found my Dad staring right back at me from three rows behind"

"No kidding... what happened next?"

"Nothing. Honor among thieves. You see, I was supposed to be at my college and he was supposed to be at his office"

"Woww Vasu !! Woww!! how come you never told me this. This is so cool... now let me tell you the coolest thing"

"What?"

"Remember the marriage alliance proposal I got some time back? I even showed you her photo..."

"Yeah.. the one that looked like a retard, right? Whats her name again?"

"Raima. Turns out she ain't retarded, and I happen to like her and decided to go ahead with the alliance. So Vasu, SHUT YOUR BLOODY TRAP!!!

"Whoa... chill dude... I didn't know she is "the" one. Congratulations"

"I am not finished yet. Do you notice anything with the names : Anil-Lina, Aamir-Raima ?"

"Apart from being seriously boring names? Ahh... anagrams! thats a pretty cool observation Aamir!"

"Yup. Now, coming to the so-cool-its-almost-freezing part... guess what your name turns up Vasanth"

Savanth !!!

I go by the name Chaitanya these days.

Epilogue

=======

Times of India

1-Apr-2010

"In an unprecedented show of fame-craving, Rocky Savanth gets engaged to Vasanth Barka on a reality show. Commenting on the occasion, a visibly elated Ms.Savanth said, 'I am very happy that I found my Bakra'

Fans of the show however, are unhappy that the show has ended and are insisting for sequels - Rocky's Vivaah, Rocky's ... (more on page 3) "

The End

*** Disclaimer 1 ***

This is a work of fiction. Any similarity to people dead or undead is purely intentional.

*** Disclaimer 2 ***

My apologies to anyone unintentionally offended by this work. I assure that the next time would be intentional.

To Kill a Mockingbird

This narrative is inspired by a photograph that appeared in a daily newspaper a while ago.

It is about 9 a.m.

The south Indian summer sun is already at its fiery best and the sunlight reflecting off the porch and into my room is not helping. I get up from my Sunday newspaper reading to close the door. Once near the door I hear a dull periodic sound. Axe on Wood?

I hurry to the gate and see that I guessed right, the neighboring neem tree being the Wood.

"Stop .. hey! Why are you cutting down the tree? who asked you to? who allowed you to? " I demand the laborer.

"The owners of the land it is standing on. They are going to build a house"

Tough luck neem tree... I don't suppose you have such authority, do you? So who cares if you have been on that land before these owners were even born? Can you prove it? Heck, you can't even protest while being butchered.

"But it is almost at a corner of the plot" I try to reason.

"Yeah .. at the wrong corner, according to Vaastushastra"

No tree = More real estate.

This is the real shastra; probably called Myopic Arthashastra.

It is going to take him the entire day cutting it down for it is no small tree, having spent years growing strong wide branches, dense crown and a hard trunk. Neem trees are noted for their drought resistance. That wont do anymore. They gotta be human resistant.

Just before I sit for lunch, I go out to check on the diligent laborer. He is taking a short post-lunch break in the shade of the partially cut tree.

Is he aware of the irony here?

The title is borrowed from the popular novel/film with the same name